To The Anxious Pre-Law Student
Before you continue, I want to say that this is solely based on my own experience, and that is in no way representative of the experience of others.
I was at my local gym, completing my routine workout, using it as a break from the law-school applications. This often consisted of me thinking about my personal statements throughout my reps, pondering about how I can restructure the same finite sentences in a more concise, tacit or captivating way. I was so preoccupied with my thoughts that oftentimes I wouldn’t even realize how I’ve switched exercises, or have done far too many sets, or on the contrary, that I’ve been taking a 15 minute break while occupying a much coveted bench (gaining the judgmental looks of my fellow gym-attendees).
For me, the most terrifying thing about applying to law school was the Hail Mary that I was throwing at my life. I was literally applying to law school because I felt like its something I should be doing given my personal interests and skills. Yet I had never stepped in or worked in a law firm, I’ve barely talked to any lawyers, and I genuinely had no idea whether law school was for me. You’re literally putting in hours of effort into something, trying to make yourself look as appealing as possible…for something that you’re not even sure you want.
I’d check lawschoolnumbers.com like a maniac, tracking the self-reported acceptances of users, along with their GPAs and LSAT scores. “Fuck, I am not good enough, no way.” or “Woah, that person got in with that score? How?”
Comparisons, constant constant comparisons. Its almost like the news of other people’s LSAT scores would just come to me with or without request. “My friend got a [insert number]” “Yeah, her daughter got into Law School X, she scored [this much].” I started to perceive myself and my fellow pre-law peers as numbers.
Anytime I’d hear about someone with a higher score than me, or saw someone write about it on Reddit, I would torment myself with thoughts about how I could have studied more, done more, focused more, taken less breaks. Its a really self-destructive and toxic way to look at things, but that is how I felt, and to this day these thoughts cross my mind. It has something to do with having the confidence in yourself, and trusting your abilities, but succumbing to your perceived lack of self-discipline. But the truth is that, more often than not, this post-factum self-deprecation is utterly useless . Instead, I try to use that frustrating feeling as a reminder for my future endeavors, to ensure that I am conscious of the degree of effort I am putting into something prior to the manifestation of results.
Anyway, I am not going to burden you with every detail about my own mental struggles with the law school application process.
I understand that the current domestic, national, global situation is only making things more stressful for all those looking to go into law school. A complete question mark in terms of how the academic experience is going to unfold, and an even bigger economic uncertainty in regards to the legal profession as a whole. Unfortunately, nothing I say will serve as a solution for any of these tangible, hardcore issues that you are likely facing. Thus, the advice I want to give is more of an attempt to motivate, or maybe provide some potential avenues for anxiety relief.
Be honest with the personal statement. Tell your story, not the story you think the admission people want to hear. Consider several topics, and just write a few sentence on each, and see which one flows. Talk to the people in your life, ask them questions: “Did you think I’d go to law school? Why?” “Do you think I can succeed in law school? Why?” More likely than not, if you’re crazy enough to consider the idea of applying to law school, chances are that you already have the qualities which make you fit for this bumpy road. Be conscious of the fact that you belong.
I also can’t stress enough the importance of involving other people in the process. Pick out some trustworthy pairs of eyes, and (if you feel comfortable) share your personal statement or resume with them. Have them read it over, give tips, share their thoughts. For me personally, having other people be a part of this process served as a very healthy way of dealing with some of the anxiety. Most importantly don’t take any negative feedback personal, but rather consider that this could be an admissions officer looking at your paper and having the same thoughts. Consider all criticism in a healthy way, and think about whether you agree or not — if you don’t agree, then don’t change anything, don’t feel compelled to do so.
Lastly, don’t be ashamed to step away from it all. If you’re not feeling it that day, take the day off. Go to the beach, get some ramen, play video games, whatever gets your mind away. If you don’t feel ready at all, then also be honest with yourself and reconsider. Maybe a gap year could help? Some of the most brilliant people I’ve met in law school are people who took several years between their undergraduate degree and law school. You don’t have an expiration date.
Point is, always remember that you have the potential to be better, and that reaching your dreams does not have to come through a single route. Whether you do that through law school right after undergrad, or wait 2–3 years, or whether law school ends up not being an option (its not for everyone), the most important thing to remember is that at the very least you have ambitions, and you don’t need a J.D. from a specific school, or a J.D. at all, in order to turn those ambitions into a concrete reality.
